Discussion:
How Many Does it Take?
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Torence
2009-03-22 14:41:08 UTC
Permalink
So, how many Freemasons does it take to change a lightbulb? Answer:
That's a craft secret.

Here is another that I received...

September: Upon arriving at the lodge, the Master notices the bulb is
burnt out. He asks the Electrician to replace it. The Electrician
tells him that bulbs are kept in the Tyler's desk. The Master goes to
the Tyler's desk but finds no bulbs. The Tyler tells him that the
lodge has been out of lightbulbs since Right Worshipful X was Master
(sometime when Brother Ford was President). During the business
meeting, the Master proposes the purchase of a box of lightbulbs.
Three Past Masters object, saying that the motion must be printed in
the notice of the next communication. The Secretary concurs.

October: The Master calls for the ballot. The three Past Masters
object, and ask for a Treasurer's report on whether the lodge can
afford the purchase. The Treasurer hasn't got his books at the
communication, so the ballot is postponed until the following month.

November: The Master calls up the motion, and calls for the
Treasurer's report. The Treasurer reports that the lodge has
sufficient funds for the proposed purchase. The Master calls for the
ballot, and the motion to obtain new bulbs is passed. The Master asks
if one of the three Past Masters would be willing to purchase the
bulbs, but all three have already gone downstairs to "assist" the
Dinner Committee. The Electrician volunteers to purchase the bulbs,
and is escorted once around the lodge to the applause of the
brethren.

December: The Master opens the lodge and notices that the bulb is
still burnt out. He asks the Treasurer and finds out that the
Electrician left for Florida the day after the previous meeting, but
will be back for the May communication. The Master calls the lodge to
recess, gets back in his car, drives to a hardware store, buys a pack
of bulbs, drives back, parks, goes in, drags his chair underneath the
burnt-out bulb, replaces the bulb, throws the old bulb away, drags his
chair back to the East and calls the Craft back to order.

So... how many Freemasons does it take to change a lightbulb? Answer:
1; but you will have to ask the right 1.
Crimson Ghost
2009-03-23 01:28:32 UTC
Permalink
Post by Torence
That's a craft secret.
Here is another that I received...
September: Upon arriving at the lodge, the Master notices the bulb is
burnt out. He asks the Electrician to replace it. The Electrician
tells him that bulbs are kept in the Tyler's desk. The Master goes to
the Tyler's desk but finds no bulbs. The Tyler tells him that the
lodge has been out of lightbulbs since Right Worshipful X was Master
(sometime when Brother Ford was President). During the business
meeting, the Master proposes the purchase of a box of lightbulbs.
Three Past Masters object, saying that the motion must be printed in
the notice of the next communication. The Secretary concurs.
October: The Master calls for the ballot. The three Past Masters
object, and ask for a Treasurer's report on whether the lodge can
afford the purchase. The Treasurer hasn't got his books at the
communication, so the ballot is postponed until the following month.
November: The Master calls up the motion, and calls for the
Treasurer's report. The Treasurer reports that the lodge has
sufficient funds for the proposed purchase. The Master calls for the
ballot, and the motion to obtain new bulbs is passed. The Master asks
if one of the three Past Masters would be willing to purchase the
bulbs, but all three have already gone downstairs to "assist" the
Dinner Committee. The Electrician volunteers to purchase the bulbs,
and is escorted once around the lodge to the applause of the
brethren.
December: The Master opens the lodge and notices that the bulb is
still burnt out. He asks the Treasurer and finds out that the
Electrician left for Florida the day after the previous meeting, but
will be back for the May communication. The Master calls the lodge to
recess, gets back in his car, drives to a hardware store, buys a pack
of bulbs, drives back, parks, goes in, drags his chair underneath the
burnt-out bulb, replaces the bulb, throws the old bulb away, drags his
chair back to the East and calls the Craft back to order.
1; but you will have to ask the right 1.
This sounds WAY too familiar....
Alan Schwartz
2009-03-26 02:23:48 UTC
Permalink
Post by Torence
That's a craft secret.
I heard it as:

How many Past Masters does it take to change a lightbulb?

Answer: Change?

- Alan
--
Alan Schwartz, PM
Chaplain, Berwyn Lodge #839, A.F. & A.M., Berwyn, Illinois, USA
Master of the 1st Veil, Irving Park Chapter #195 RAM
32nd deg. Scottish Rite Mason, Valley of Chicago, AASR (NJ)
David Foster
2009-03-28 15:10:48 UTC
Permalink
Post by Torence
That's a craft secret.
snippity snippity snip
Post by Torence
1; but you will have to ask the right 1.
Brother Torence,
I sometimes get the impression that you're just a
weeeeeeeee bit disgruntled about things.
David
Torence
2009-03-30 15:18:16 UTC
Permalink
Post by David Foster
Brother Torence,
I sometimes get the impression that you're just a
weeeeeeeee bit disgruntled about things.
David
Not at all, I am quite gruntled. Thank you.
In particular, I am joyed by the number of degrees that my lodge is
up to these days. We have a third to do on Tuesday followed by two
firsts the next Tuesday. All of our candidates are advancing; and,
thanks to the change we made here in Illinois this year whereby we can
do business meetings on any degree, each candidate is attending all of
our meetings as they make their individual progress. More than that,
they are supporting one another and selecting useful roles to perform
once they become proficient Master Masons.
Now, if only we can get a leg up on some of the other inevitable
changes for our fraternity, such as reducing the size and number of
Grand Lodge Offices and Committees, universal amnesty for Masonic
Offences other than a felony conviction for a violent crime, divesting
Grand Lodge funds and returning the principle to the lodges which
sacrificed and gave for them, defining the supremacy of Local Lodges
in the jurisprudence of our mutual society, etc. I will be elated. In
the meantime, I will wait with patience until the right answer is
returned.

Fraternally,
Torence Evans Ake
Senior Deacon - Auburn Park Lodge No. 789 - Crete, Illinois
PM - Arcadia Lodge no. 1138 - Lansing, Illinois
Mudge
2009-04-05 23:53:35 UTC
Permalink
Post by Torence
Post by David Foster
Brother Torence,
I sometimes get the impression that you're just a
weeeeeeeee bit disgruntled about things.
David
Not at all, I am quite gruntled. Thank you.
In particular, I am joyed by the number of degrees that my lodge is
up to these days. We have a third to do on Tuesday followed by two
firsts the next Tuesday. All of our candidates are advancing; and,
thanks to the change we made here in Illinois this year whereby we can
do business meetings on any degree, each candidate is attending all of
our meetings as they make their individual progress. More than that,
they are supporting one another and selecting useful roles to perform
once they become proficient Master Masons.
Now, if only we can get a leg up on some of the other inevitable
changes for our fraternity, such as reducing the size and number of
Grand Lodge Offices and Committees, universal amnesty for Masonic
Offences other than a felony conviction for a violent crime, divesting
Grand Lodge funds and returning the principle to the lodges which
sacrificed and gave for them, defining the supremacy of Local Lodges
in the jurisprudence of our mutual society, etc. I will be elated. In
the meantime, I will wait with patience until the right answer is
returned.
Hmmm, if you are that patient, I do hope you are very, very, young !!!!
--
BES (in currently sunny, Calgary)
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