Torence
2010-04-27 13:39:17 UTC
Last night, a few of us participated in some funeral work for a
ninety year old Brother and fifty-six year member of the fraternity
for Crete Lodge. Unfortunately, this year has seen too much of this
sort of work for us and to lighten the mood I have gathered up some of
the terms that I have heard from the operators at these places. Do you
know any that I can add to my list?
Grief Therapy- The treatment that is received by purchasing the
most expensive viewing and funeral.
Grief Counselor or Funeral Director Sales persons.
Pre-Need Sales Paying for services in advance. Nothing like
taking money from customers who can not later complain.
Selection Room- Display room for Products and Services
Mr. Post The announced caller in a hospital when they page to
have a body removed from a room.
O or Q Signs A body with an open mouth or a body with an open
mouth and the tongue hanging out.
Temporary Preservation Embalming
Mummification Really expensive embalming
Passed to the Arms of God and Consigned to the Earth Dead and
Buried.
Beautiful Memory Picture An embalmed body displayed in the most
expensive casket.
Memorial Park a cemetery
Lawns as in Forest Lawns cemeteries with lazy caretakers that
use ground markers rather than head stones so that the gardner can mow
over the internment spaces rather than trim around them.
Internment Space a grave
Babyland- plots for children
Companion Space the practice of burying one casket above another
to conserve space
Plantings graves.
Slumber Room the room to display a body for a wake
Cremains ashes
Burn and Scatter- or my preferred term bake and shake cremains
disposal at sea or other places
Casket Coach A Hearse or what fans of the Grateful Dead drive.
Corpse Cooler- Coffins with windows and an ice compartment to keep
the body cool during viewing
Protective caskets sealed coffins to keep the bugs and moisture
away
Burping Caskets sealed coffins that also vent gasses so that a
protective coffin does not explode.
Nose Squeezer a casket with a flat top
Any more?
Fraternally,
Torence Evans Ake
Secretary Auburn Park Lodge No. 789 Crete, Illinois
PM Arcadia Lodge No. 1138 Lansing, Illinois
ninety year old Brother and fifty-six year member of the fraternity
for Crete Lodge. Unfortunately, this year has seen too much of this
sort of work for us and to lighten the mood I have gathered up some of
the terms that I have heard from the operators at these places. Do you
know any that I can add to my list?
Grief Therapy- The treatment that is received by purchasing the
most expensive viewing and funeral.
Grief Counselor or Funeral Director Sales persons.
Pre-Need Sales Paying for services in advance. Nothing like
taking money from customers who can not later complain.
Selection Room- Display room for Products and Services
Mr. Post The announced caller in a hospital when they page to
have a body removed from a room.
O or Q Signs A body with an open mouth or a body with an open
mouth and the tongue hanging out.
Temporary Preservation Embalming
Mummification Really expensive embalming
Passed to the Arms of God and Consigned to the Earth Dead and
Buried.
Beautiful Memory Picture An embalmed body displayed in the most
expensive casket.
Memorial Park a cemetery
Lawns as in Forest Lawns cemeteries with lazy caretakers that
use ground markers rather than head stones so that the gardner can mow
over the internment spaces rather than trim around them.
Internment Space a grave
Babyland- plots for children
Companion Space the practice of burying one casket above another
to conserve space
Plantings graves.
Slumber Room the room to display a body for a wake
Cremains ashes
Burn and Scatter- or my preferred term bake and shake cremains
disposal at sea or other places
Casket Coach A Hearse or what fans of the Grateful Dead drive.
Corpse Cooler- Coffins with windows and an ice compartment to keep
the body cool during viewing
Protective caskets sealed coffins to keep the bugs and moisture
away
Burping Caskets sealed coffins that also vent gasses so that a
protective coffin does not explode.
Nose Squeezer a casket with a flat top
Any more?
Fraternally,
Torence Evans Ake
Secretary Auburn Park Lodge No. 789 Crete, Illinois
PM Arcadia Lodge No. 1138 Lansing, Illinois